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Today's jokes [5.15.14]

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A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when 
the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that 
are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by
the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the human
brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive 
intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it 
attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular 
consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, constantly making 
the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

1. 




Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn
out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the
bulbs work smarter, not harder.

2. 




   A man wakes up early one morning and decides to go duck hunting.
   
   He tells his wife, "You've got three choices; you can go duck hunting
   with me, I'll do ya anally or you can give me a blowjob. I'm gonna
   load up the truck and get the dog out. Make up your mind before I get
   back."
   
   Hubby returns twenty minutes later and says, "Well what's it gonna
   be?"
   
   She say's, "There's no way I'm going duck hunting and you're not doing
   my ass so I guess it's a blowjob."
   
   A couple minutes later she starts choking and spitting and says,
   "Jesus, you taste like shit."
   
   "Oh yeah," he replies, "The dog didn't want to go duck huntin'
   either."
   


3. 




Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping?

Scared the hell out of the dog.

4. 




Two young brothers, aged 5 and 6, are listening through the keyhole as 
their older sister is getting it on with her new boyfriend.
They hear her say, "Oh, Jim, you're going where no man has gone before!"
The six-year-old says to his brother, "He must be fucking her up the ass!"



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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