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Today's jokes [5.11.14]

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The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband's um...
little sailor can't salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor
and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for
her. The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says,
"listen, I don't do this for everyone, but since your husband's
on his way out...Get this prescription, and put three drops in his
milk before he goes to bed." The wife is very happy and thanks the
doc profusely. 

Two weeks later, the doctor sees the woman and asks how it went.
The lady blushes, smiles and says, "well I put thirty drops in his
milk by accident, and well, we just need an antidote now to close
the coffin." 


1. 




What do you call 2 blondes in the front seat of a car? 

Dual air bags! 

2. 




Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

3. 




What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

lick-a-lot-a-pus


Sent by rob

4. 




Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 
cucumbers. The guy advises: "Sisters, if you buy 3 crates, that's 150, 
you'll get a 25% discount !" The nuns look at each other, and after a 
prolonged period of thinking one whispers to the other:
"We could eat the 30, I suppose."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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