Today's stories [4.6.14]

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Well, a couple months back there was this trial in the West Virginia 
courts. A man was being tried for fornicating with a sheep. Anyway,
the key witness was an old fella who was walking along the highway by the 
farm where the sheep was raised. 
The prosecutor asked the witness what he saw. "Well, I was walkin'
along, and saw this sheep just'a eatin' grass. And then this fella walks up
from behind the sheep, real quiet-like." 
"And then what?" asked the prosecutor. 
"Then he unbuckled his belt, and pulled the sheep close." 
" And what happened after that?" 
"Well," said the witness, "they sorta shook for a couple of minutes. 
THEN, afterwards, the sheep turned around... an' licked him!" 
Just then one of the members of the jury leaned over to the jury
member next to him and said, "You know... a good sheep'll do that."

Check this out:
Larry Flynt, owner and publisher of the US pornographic
magazine "Hustler" has publicly offered Kenneth Starr a
job

Modern parents believe toilet training should be an easy and
casual affair.  Just let the child s*%# all over everything.  This
prepares him or her for a brilliant career as a talk show host.
        It used to be thought that children should act like "little
adults".  Like many things that used to be thought, this is true.  In
fact, now more than ever.  Today's real adults are self-involved,
impulsive, inarticulate, and spend as much time as possible out
playing.  They can't sit still, don't like to get dressed up, and hate
every kind of activity that requires self-restraint.  Adults are the
children of today, and therefore children have to be adults because
there's only so much room in the world for kids.
        
             --P.J. O'Rouke

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