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Today's poems [4.28.14]

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There was a young lady named Clair
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or at least so I thought,
Till I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and began losing air.

1. 




There was a girl from the five and ten
Who diddled herself with a fountain pen.
The top came off,
The ink went wild,
And now she's the mother of a coloured child.

2. 




An efficient young fellow named Dave
Said, "Think of the time that I save
By avoiding vacations,
And sexy relations,
And taking a crap while I shave." 

3. 




There was a young man from Rangoon
Whose farts could be heard to the moon.
When you'd least expect 'em,
They'd burst from his rectum
With the force of a raging typhoon.

4. 




A gardener named Kenneth McDeare
Likes plants more than women, we fear.
"He's hardly perennial."
Say folks who know Kenny well.
"He only comes up once a year" 

5. 



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