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Today's jokes [4.8.14]

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"Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?"
she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes.
"I don't know, but I promise I'll never do it again."


1. 




The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he 
noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her 
boobs almost hanging out. He couldn't concentrate on his message to the 
flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after 
everyone else left the church.
When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice. 
"Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?"
"Why reverend." the young thing replied. All of my boyfriends tell me that 
they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts."
"Hmm. Well let me check," said the man of the cloth, placing his head 
between her tits. After several minutes, he raised his head and said. "I 
don't hear any angels singing!"
"Of course not reverend." she said. Your not plugged in yet."

2. 




This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local 
brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. 
the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, "cough drops" and snickered.

Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, "What are you doing 
here, m'am?"

The woman pulled herself up to her full height oF 4'4 and replied, "Well, 
I can suck em can't I?" 

3. 




A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest...the grass was very thick
and long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approached
the Father for payment and the priest paid him $1.00.
The boy said "Thank you, virgin Father!"
The priest replied, "What did you say?"
The boy repeated, "Thank you, virgin Father!"
The priest asked him, "Do you know what that means?"
The boy replied, "Yes.... tight ass!"

4. 




How do you know a blond has been using your computer?

When the joy stick is wet!


Sent by Richard

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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