Today's jokes [4.30.14]
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How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
The room was full of pregnant ladies and their partners,
and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was
teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with
informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at
this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for
you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it
wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your
The room really got quiet.
Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes," replied the teacher.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Sent by Katie-Anne
A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo
rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car.
You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got one in my Yugo!"
The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have a phone." The driver of the Yugo
says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there, too? I've got a fridge in the back seat of my
Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."
The driver of the Yugo says, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I
got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now,
says, "Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"
The driver of the Yugo says, "Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there too? I got a bed in
the back of my Yugo!" Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped
away, and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered that a bed be installed in
the back of the Rolls. The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up the car, and the bed
looked superb, with satin sheets and brass trim. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce.
So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for the Yugo, and he drove all day.
Finally, late at night, he finds the Yugo parked, with all the windows fogged up from the
inside. The driver of the Rolls got out and knocked on the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer,
he knocked and knocked, and eventually the owner stuck his head out, soaking wet.
"I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.
The driver of the Yugo looked at him and said, "You got me out of the shower to tell me THAT?!?!"
Which 3rd grader has the best body, the blonde, brunette or redhead?
The blonde - she is eighteen.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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