Today's jokes [4.27.14]
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A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right
thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits,
and a lot of questioning and listening, the counselor said
that he had discovered the main problem.
He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand,
and gave her a hug. He looked at the man and said, "this
is what your wife needs, at least once a day!"
The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, "Ok, what
time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?"
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.
The Company Commander and the 1st Sgt, were in the field.
As they hit the sack for the night, the 1SG said: "Sir, look up
into the sky and tell me what you see."
The CO said "I see millions of stars."
1st Sgt.: "And what does that tell you, sir?"
CO: Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of
galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells
me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow. What does it tell you, Top?"
1st Sgt.: "Well sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent."
What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates?
A mobile sperm bank.
Handy guide to modern science:
If it's green or wriggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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