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Today's jokes [4.25.14]

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Q: How do you pick up TWA flight attendants?
A: With a fishing pole!

1. 




What is the difference between a toilet and Convienience Store Clerk?

A toilet only has to deal with one asshole at a time.

2. 




Q:  Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved
    in the voodoo or occult?
A:  We both do.
Q:  Voodoo?
A:  We do.
Q:  You do?
A:  Yes, voodoo.

3. 




McAteer arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with 
tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was 
already homesick.
"No," replied McAteer. "I've lost all me luggage!" "How'd that happen?" 
"The cork fell out," said the Irishman. 

4. 




What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb!

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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