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Today's stories [3.3.14]

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Four elderly ladies were driving in a car. One of the 
ladies in the car, Rosa, had a heavy hispanic accent.  "As we 
drove thru the industrial area, Rosa said, 'Hey, that's where 
they make the Huge Measles!'  We all looked at each other, 
confused, for a moment before we realized we were going past 
the 'Hughes Missle' plant."

1. 




This one lady was telling the judge how her husband was 
abusive to her on several occasions and how fearful she was for 
her life.  She was seeking a restraining order.  The judge 
granted the order.  The bailiff asked if she needed an escort to 
her car, since her husband was in the courtroom with her. She 
said, 'No, he's my ride home.'

2. 




My friend was always teasing me about cybersex and trying
to lead me on.  One day he wrote a really racy letter so I 
decided to "call his bluff".  Forgetting I'd deleted his letter
out of  habit, I accidently responded to my Recipe Du Jour list
instead  and wrote:  "Thanks a lot.  Now I can't get any work
done.  My panties are wet from the anticipation of your next
email."  A gentleman wrote back:   "Sorry, I didn't realize
salsa had such an effect."

3. 



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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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