Today's stories [3.3.14]
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Four elderly ladies were driving in a car. One of the
ladies in the car, Rosa, had a heavy hispanic accent. "As we
drove thru the industrial area, Rosa said, 'Hey, that's where
they make the Huge Measles!' We all looked at each other,
confused, for a moment before we realized we were going past
the 'Hughes Missle' plant."
This one lady was telling the judge how her husband was
abusive to her on several occasions and how fearful she was for
her life. She was seeking a restraining order. The judge
granted the order. The bailiff asked if she needed an escort to
her car, since her husband was in the courtroom with her. She
said, 'No, he's my ride home.'
My friend was always teasing me about cybersex and trying
to lead me on. One day he wrote a really racy letter so I
decided to "call his bluff". Forgetting I'd deleted his letter
out of habit, I accidently responded to my Recipe Du Jour list
instead and wrote: "Thanks a lot. Now I can't get any work
done. My panties are wet from the anticipation of your next
email." A gentleman wrote back: "Sorry, I didn't realize
salsa had such an effect."
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