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Today's quotes [3.21.14]

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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
   word you say, talk in your sleep.


1. 




* Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had
       years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet,
       make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
       -- Dave Barry


2. 




"There are two kinds of people I cannot abide: bigots and any well-organized
ethnic group."

                            --Edward Abbey



3. 




"It's tupperware. Of course it exists. We only wish it didn't."
                        -- Kez Bartsch


4. 




* No job is so simple that is can't be done wrong.


5. 



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