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Today's quotes [3.13.14]

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There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were
       as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I
       no longer know how to use my telephone. -- Stroustrup


If at first you don't succeed...skydiving isn't for you.


"No, we're _sweet_ and _innocent_ evil bastards"
                        -- from the sig of Simon Burr,


Engineer: a person who knows a great deal about
very little and who goes along knowing more and
more about less and less, until finally he knows
practically everything about nothing. 


Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big
       crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go "Whoa! Whoa!" and
       flail your arms around, like you're going to fall in.


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