Today's poems [3.26.14]
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An explorer whose habits were blunt
Once flavored some cannibal cunt.
The asshole was shitty,
And---more was the pity---
It oozed from the rear to the front.
There once were two brothers named Luntz
Who buggered each other at once.
When asked to account
For this intricate mount,
They said, "Assholes are tighter than cunts."
There was a young lady named Astor
Who never let any get past her.
She finally got plenty
By stopping twenty,
Which certainly ought to last her.
Under the spreading chestnut tree
The village smith he sat,
By abusing himself
And catching the load in his hat.
By a cozy peat fire in O'Dell,
Sat a Scot and a Mick, I hear tell.
"I'm full," cried O'Brien.
Said McLoed,"Well, I'm buyin'."
Sure and now, that's a cold day in hell.
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