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Today's poems [3.13.14]

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               In Kansas there lived a young monk 
               Who often was in a blue funk, 
                    For his come always froze 
                    On the sisters' thick hose, 
               And they never would part with a chunk. 

1. 




There once were two ladies from Birmingham 
               That dealy with matters not concerning them. 
                    They reached under the robes 
                    And tickled the globes 
               Of the bishop that then was confirming them 

               Now this bishop he wasn't a fool, 
               He knew what to do with that duel. 
                    He whipped off his britches 
                    And gave those two bitches 
               A foot of episcople tool. 

2. 




A habit uncouth and unsav'ry, 
               Kept the Bishop of Essex in slav'ry, 
                    Midst shrieks, hoots, and howls, 
                    He'd bugger large owls, 
               Which he kept in an underground av'ry.

3. 




               "Last night," said a lassie named Ruth, 
               "In a long-distance telephone booth, 
                    I enjoyed the perfection 
                    Of an ideal connection--- 
               I was screwed, if you must know the truth." 

4. 




There was a young man in Hong Kong 
               Who grew seven fathoms of prong. 
                    It looked, when erect, 
                    About as you'd expect--- 
               When coiled it did not seem so long. 

5. 



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 March '14 Poems Issues:
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