Today's jokes [3.6.14] Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, "Pig!" The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, "Bitch!" They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to fall over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" They ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart"
How is being at the singles bar different from being at the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk...
A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty. "Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."
Nancy goes to the gynecologist and he examines her. He says, "You have acute vaginitis." She says, "Thank you."
Love, Mary
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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