Today's jokes [3.26.14]
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One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his
warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says "Big
Chief, no shit". the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief
should be fine tomorrow.
The warrior went back to the chief and gave him the pill. the next morning
the warrior was sent back to the witch doctor and says "big chief, no
shit". the doctor gives him five pills and tells him to give them to the
The next day the warrior appears at the witch doctor's house yet again
saying "big chief, no shit". the doctor gets annoyed and so gives the
warrior the whole bottle of pills to give to the chief.
The next day the warrior goes back to the witch doctor (AGAIN):
"Big shit, no chief".
The teacher had given the class an assignment.
He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no
excuses will be
accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the
immediate family (with a
note from that member).
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion,
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher
"Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman
who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the
pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally
bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually
still alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the
end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying out
the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out,
"WATCH OUT FOR THAT WALL!"
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel,
and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent
tournament victories. After about an hour,the manager
came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?", they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting
in an open foyer."
What's green and smells like pig?
- Kermit's fingers.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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