Today's jokes [3.20.14]
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A political man to a woman, "You look beautiful today!!!!"
The woman replied, "Thanks, but unfortunately I could not say the same about you."
"Sure you could!!" said the political man, "if you could lie as well as I do!"
A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him
two beautiful ones out on the floor. "This one's $5,000 and the other is
$10,000." the clerk said.
"Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?"
"This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote."
"And the other?" said the customer.
"This one can sing Wagner's entire Ring cycle. There's another one in
the back room for $30,000."
"Holy moly! What does that one do?"
"Nothing that I can tell, but the other two parrots call him 'Maestro'."
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How much money have you got?
Buckwheat Lets the Cat Outta the Bag
One day the little rascals were sitting in school. The teacher walked
in, and said, "good
morning class. Today we are going to play word games. I'm going to
give you a word and
I want you to put it in a sentence for me." She said "Spanky you're
first. Your word is
football." Spanky stood up and proudly said " I threw the football,"
and sat down.
The teacher said "very good Spanky." Then the teacher said, "Darla,
you're next. Your
word is pretty." Darla stood up and said, " I think I'm very pretty!"
Then she sat down.
Then the teacher called on Buckwheat. She said, "Buckwheat, you're
next. Your word is
dictate." Buckwheat stood up looked at Arial, and said, "Hey Darla!
How'd my dic tate las
What has two legs, spots, and bleeds?
Half a cheetah.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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