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Today's jokes [3.2.14]

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What's the difference between Love, True Love and showing off? 

     Spit, swallow and gargle. 

1. 




Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the 
church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration - 
that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. 

"Gladly," responded the good man. 

When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at 
once to the "appreciation" column. There he read: "The minister extends 
his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in 
which it was given."

2. 




A couple just moved into hotel. And the hotel clerk asks the 
man after helping him with his luggage.

- Anything else? 

- NO, thanks, 

- Maybe, your wife needs something ? 

- Oh, yeah. Thank you for your reminder. Do you sell greeting 
cards ? 

3. 




Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. 

     Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman. 

4. 




This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat.
His wife said, "Where are you going ?"
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
And she said, "Why? Are you sick?"
"No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater
and he said, "Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."
He said, "Why?"
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing
again, I'm  going to get a tetanus shot."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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