Today's jokes [3.10.14]
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The Letter D Pulls Out
LETTER D PULLS SPONSORSHIP FROM SESAME STREET
Noted Consonant Alienated By Controversial New Gay Muppet
NEW YORK--A spokesperson for the letter D announced Monday that the
consonant is withdrawing sponsorship from Sesame Street following a
Children's Television Workshop announcement that a homosexual muppet
will soon join the show's cast.
"The letter D is proud to have brought you many wonderful Sesame
Street episodes throughout the program's 28-year history," said
Patricia Willis, public-relations director for D. "But the letter D
does not condone the sort of morally questionable lifestyles that
Sesame Street is advocating with the introduction of this new
character. It can no longer in good conscience associate itself with
the show." Willis said D's withdrawal is effective immediately, and
applies to both capital and lower-case versions of the letter.
The gay muppet, "Bruce," will be introduced on Sesame Street Dec. 23,
CTW director Leslie Charren said. Thus far, no other sponsors have
pulled out, though the number seven has requested an advance tape of
the episode before it makes a decision.
Many public-television insiders believe D's withdrawal was motivated
by a desire not to alienate religious conservatives, a section of the
population that employs the letter frequently.
"D is for, among other things, demagoguery, dogma and doctrine, words
crucial to right-wing groups like the Christian Coalition," said Yale
University political-science professor J. Wright Franklin. "It is
likely that D felt it could ill afford to offend such a large segment
of its users."
While a long-term replacement for D has not yet been secured by Sesame
Street, the number three will temporarily fill in for it in a number
of the show's animated shorts. Other pieces will simply skip from C to
E, with vocalists stretching out C into two syllables to match the
rhythm of the alphabet song.
Sesame Street is stung by the sudden departure of its longtime
supporter. Speaking to reporters, cast member Cookie Monster said: "Me
disappointed letter D choose to end relationship with Sesame Street
due to pressure from extremely vocal minority. We accused of endorsing
deviant lifestyle. Me say homosexuality natural, not immoral.
Diversity and enrichment. That's good enough for me." ----------------
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?
A: It's easy, he's the one with the sesame seed buns!
The blind daters had really hit it off and, at the end of the evening
as they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, the
fellow said, "Before we go any further, Charlene, tell me - do you
have any special fetishes that I should take into account in bed?"
"As a matter of fact," smiled the girl, "I do happen to have a foot
fetish - but I suppose I'd settle for maybe seven or eight inches."
Tombstone Epitaph in Memory of an accident in a
Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
What's brown and crispy on the outside, and white and creamy on the
More cool than funny, but...
racecar <===> racecar
drawer <===> reward
repaid <===> diaper
straw <===> warts
evian <===> naive [there's a message here, I think!]
smug <===> gums
star <===> rats
step <===> pets
step on <===> no pets
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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