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Today's stories [2.28.14]

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That guy was shopping at the grocery store the other day and
tried to pay for his purchase with his ATM.  After swiping it
several times he told the cashier that he didn't think it was
working. The cashier told him that she didn't think anyone
had ever been able to get their driver's license to work in
the machine.

1. 




Klatt was telling me about growing up in NYC, working at a 
local fruitstand.  An elderly woman came up to the stand 
asking if we had any "dates".  My friend and working partner
told her that we didn't have any "dates".  She then asked if we
had "nuts".  My friend said, "Ma'am, if we had 'nuts' then we've
have 'dates'."

2. 




Do you realize 25% of all married men kiss their wife good-bye 
when they leave the house?

Of these same men 90% will kiss their house good-bye when 
their wife leaves.

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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