Today's quotes [2.13.14]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
Never ruin an apology with an excuse.
- Kimberly Johnson
Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson) - "The surest sign that
intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that
it has never tried to contact us."
"Psst... hey Guido... it's all so clear to me now... I'm the Keeper of the
Cheese... and you're the Lemon Merchant... and he KNOWS... that's why he's
going to KILL us... and we have to get away before he sets loose the
marmosets upon us... DON'T WORRY LITTLE MISSY!! I'LL SAVE YOU!!"
-- Ren, from Ren & Stimpy, "In The Army"
In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination
should automatically disqualify you.
"In the beginning the world was without form, and void. And God said
'Let there be light'. And God separated the light from the dark.
And did two loads of laundry."
-- Kevin Krisciunas, in rec.humor.funny
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28