Today's quotes [2.13.14]

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Never ruin an apology with an excuse. 

    - Kimberly Johnson

Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson) - "The surest sign that
           intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that
           it has never tried to contact us."

"Psst... hey Guido... it's all so clear to me now... I'm the Keeper of the
 Cheese... and you're the Lemon Merchant... and he KNOWS... that's why he's
 going to KILL us... and we have to get away before he sets loose the
 marmosets upon us... DON'T WORRY LITTLE MISSY!! I'LL SAVE YOU!!"
                        -- Ren, from Ren & Stimpy, "In The Army"

In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination
       should automatically disqualify you.

"In the beginning the world was without form, and void. And God said
 'Let there be light'. And God separated the light from the dark.
 And did two loads of laundry."
                        -- Kevin Krisciunas, in rec.humor.funny

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