Today's poems [2.5.14]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

Q. Flaccus in his third liber: 
               "The Romans have no wood-pulp fiber. 
                    A crapulent quorum 
                    Will squat in the Forum 
               And heave dirty stones in the Tiber." 

A whore grown too old to get laid 
               Turned parfumeuse, finding it paid 
                    To concoct Fleur de Floozie 
                    From the juice of her coosie 
               (Substantial discount to the trade). 

There was an old gent from Kentuck 
            Who boasted a filigreed schmuck, 
                But he put it away 
                For fear that one day 
            He might put it in and get stuck. 

A lacklustre lady of Brougham 
            Weaveth all night at her loom. 
                Anon she doth blench 
                When her lord and his wench 
            Pull a chain in the neighboring room. 

As Apollo was chasing the fair 
               Daphne she vanished in air. 
                    He could find but a shrub 
                    With thick bark on the hub 
               And not even a knot-hole to spare. 

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   February '14 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28