Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [2.9.14]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom
& Pop" grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry
detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly,
asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. 

"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very
powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In
fact, it might even kill him." 

But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent
to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to
talk him out of washing his dog. 

About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some
candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. 

"Oh, he died," the boy said. 

The grocer, trying not to be an "I-told-you-so", said he was
sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use
that detergent on your dog." 

"Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent
that killed him." 

"Oh? What was it then?" 

"I think it was the spin cycle!" 

1. 




Have you ever wondered why you wonder why?
I used to wonder why, but now I don't wonder why I wonder why.
I wonder why I don't wonder why anymore? 

2. 




Q: Mom! Can I lick the bowl? Please!
A: Shut up and flush!


3. 




Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like 
forever. He'd waggle, look down, look up, but never start his backswing. 
Finally David, his playing partner, asked, "Why on Earth are you taking
so long to make this shot?"

"My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse, and I want to make 
this shot a good one," said Bob.

"Good Lord," said David, "you haven't got a chance of hitting her from 
here." 

4. 




A man, being on top of a woman, says after a while: 
"Honey, your tits are too small, and your box
is too tight,"

"Get off my back, dear!" she replies

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 February '14 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
                  1  
2  3  4  5  6  7  8  
9  10 11 12 13 14 15 
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 
23 24 25 26 27 28 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.