Today's jokes [2.8.14]
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Q: What is worse than a dead dog on your piano?
A: An infected pussy on your organ.
What's sicker than sick?
masturbating with your grandma's ashes under your foreskin....
A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were
asked if they would ever sleep with President
Clinton. 60% said, 'Never again!'
A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride
if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will
never open. The bride agrees.
After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has
been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000.
She confronts her mate with her findings, and asks for an
explanation. He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you,
I put a golf ball in the drawer."
She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad. But what about the
$6,000? He explains "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls,
I sold 'em!"
Magician and Parrot
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience
different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same
tricks over and over
again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows
each week and
began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he
understood he started
shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat"
"Look, he is hiding the
flowers under the table" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades
?" The magician
was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's
One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself
on a piece of wood
in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at
each other with hate,
but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and
After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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