Today's jokes [2.6.14]
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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then
when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and
have his shoes.
A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, "I heard you died."
"But you see I'm alive ," smiled the friend.
"Impossible," said the psychiatrist. "The man who told me is much more
reliable than you."
The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been
informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my
"That sounds interesting. Does this mean you'll be
counseling the big bosses on relations with their
"I'm not sure yet," he answered. "During a staff meeting, I
popped up to suggest a reduction in executive expense
accounts and it was after that I was told if they ever
wanted my fucking advice, they'd let me know."
What has two legs and bleeds?
Half a dog.
A girl runs home to her mother crying, "I can't marry Joe! He's an
atheist! He doesn't believe in God or Jesus or anything! "Don't worry,
Honey," said her mom. "But Mom, he doesn't even believe in Hell! "Don't
worry, Honey," repeated her mom, "you marry him...and we'll convince him!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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