Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [2.6.14]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then 
when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and 
have his shoes.

1. 




A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, "I heard you died."
"But you see I'm alive ," smiled the friend.
"Impossible," said the psychiatrist. "The man who told me is much more 
reliable than you."

2. 




The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been 
informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my 
company."

"That sounds interesting. Does this mean you'll be 
counseling the big bosses on relations with their 
secretaries?"

"I'm not sure yet," he answered. "During a staff meeting, I 
popped up to suggest a reduction in executive expense 
accounts and it was after that I was told if they ever 
wanted my fucking advice, they'd let me know."

3. 




What has two legs and bleeds? 

     Half a dog. 

4. 




A girl runs home to her mother crying, "I can't marry Joe! He's an 
atheist! He doesn't believe in God or Jesus or anything! "Don't worry, 
Honey," said her mom. "But Mom, he doesn't even believe in Hell! "Don't 
worry, Honey," repeated her mom, "you marry him...and we'll convince him!"

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 February '14 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
                  1  
2  3  4  5  6  7  8  
9  10 11 12 13 14 15 
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 
23 24 25 26 27 28 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.