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Today's jokes [2.28.14]

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Q: Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat?
A: Bachelors come home, check to see what's in the fridge, and go to bed.
.Married men come home, check to see what's in the bed, and go the 
fridge.


1. 




A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table 
watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap 
dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy 
the duck from its owner. After some wheelin' and dealin' they settled for 
$10000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs 
back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot 
before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked 
the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the 
pot?"

2. 




It seems that Ken Starr is dropping all sexual allegations against 
President Clinton. It all stems from the Paula Jones case. The 
spokesperson remarked that it would be impossible for a woman with
a six inch nose to give a blow job to a person with a three inch dick.



3. 




Why do bankers make great lovers? 

     They know the penalty for early withdrawal. 

4. 




Why is pubic hair curly?

If it was straight, it would poke your eyes out.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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