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Today's jokes [2.24.14]

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A priest is teaching a nun how to swim and the nun says to the priest 
"Will I really sink if you take your finger out?"

1. 




Q: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?

A: It changes their blood type. 

2. 




   A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem.
   The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go
   behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but
   went ahead anyway.
   
   When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front of
   and facing a full length mirror. The young woman was even more shocked
   but if it would help solve her problem she thought she had better do
   what the doctor said.
   
   As soon as she was in position the doctor asked her to open her legs
   and when she did he put his head between them and rested his chin
   right on her private parts. After a few moments and some very positive
   'yes, yes' type noises the doctor instructed her to get dressed again.
   
   Afterwards, the doctor sat her down and informed her that the main
   cause of her problem was just that she was drinking far too much
   liquid before going to bed.
   
   "So what did the exercise in front of the mirror tell you?"
   
   "Well," said the doctor, "my wife is right, a beard would suit me."
   


3. 




A manager of a restaurant had called its owner to ask
about whether or not she should hire a new waitress.
"She can speak twelve different languages, which will
be good for foreign visitors," said the manager.
"All right, so hire her," the owner replied."But, sir..."
"I knew there would be a but. What's wrong with her?"
"Sir, English isn't one of the twelve languages."

Sent by Christina

4. 




What do they call condoms in Germany?

Weinerhosen 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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