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Today's jokes [2.22.14]

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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the
driver--"PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"

1. 




How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party? The cake jumps out of the girl.

2. 




Did you hear about the new course you can take at school?
Yes, Intercourse....you go between periods and you are expected to come.



3. 




Helpful advice for travellers:
If you are going to get on a commercial flight, take a bomb with you.
BECAUSE:  What are the odds of TWO guys being on the SAME PLANE at the 
SAME TIME with a bomb?

4. 




The Naming of Jesus


A group of biblical scholars were involved in a heated discussion about how Jesus of Nazareth 
was named. How did he become known as the Messiah, or Christ. One of the scholars argued that 
the name was a Greek corruption of Aramaic, and purists and fundamentalists ought to use the 
name Joshua. Another argued that Joshua was Hebrew, not Aramaic, to which a third argued that 
Hebrew should be used because Jesus was said to be the King of the Jews. The debate went on 
and on and became more and more sophisticated and obtuse. Finally, an old man known for his 
wisdom intervened. He informed the group that he knew how Jesus was named. When Jesus was born, 
a star shown in the sky, and three wise men from the East travelled to Bethlehem. They had 
travelled for days, suffered great deprivation, and when they finally got to Bethlehem got 
lost trying to find the manger. Finally, after much ado, and in rather foul moods, they 
reached the manger and entered the stall. As one of them came through the door, he tripped on 
the door sill, and fell into the wall hitting his head. "Jesus Christ!" he screamed, and
that is how the baby was named. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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