Today's jokes [2.17.14]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
A priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see
a small boy eating an ice cream.
The priest says, "How'd you like to fuck that?"
To which the lawyer replied, "Out of what?"
Little Johnny was in his math's class one day when the teacher
singled him out.
"If I gave you $20," the teacher began," and you gave $5 to Mary,
$5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?"
"An orgy," Johnny answered.
Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror when she noticed a few
gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her privates... "I know
you haven't been getting much lately...but I didn't know you were so
worried about it!"
A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were
shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut
tree and yelled, "Stop making love down there!"
"What's the matter with you?" the husband said when the sailor climbed
down. "We weren't making love."
"Sorry," said the sailor, "From up there it looked like you were."
Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the
same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for
himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top. The husband
says to himself, "By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making
love down there!"
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street
with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop
pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously
Our wasted friend asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm
Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I
thought I was a cripple."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28