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Today's jokes [2.13.14]

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Consider the following:
Female guitar player shouting at her boyfriend in a
crowded shopping mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart,
I need a new G string!"

1. 




A young blonde girl goes to the doctor for a physical. The doctor
 puts his stethoscope up to the girl's chest and says, 'Big breaths...'
 The girl replies, 'Yeth and I'm not even thixteen.'


2. 




What's the difference between a black and a white fairy tale?

A white one starts off with "Once upon a time...".
A black one starts off with "Yo ass ain't gonna believe dis shit..." 

3. 




An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Aussie, an Abo, a Yank, an 
African, an elephant, a refrigerator, two blondes, a homosexual, three 
social workers, a Jew, a crocodile and a kiwi all walked into a bar.
The bartender turned around and said, "Is this some kind of a joke?"


4. 




   The young widow was kneeling at her husband's grave tending to the
   weeds, when she felt the grass rustle beneath her skirt. She smiled
   and said "Easy sweetheart, you're dead now ya know."


5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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