Today's stories [1.21.14]
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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex
for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for
virgins to marry.
The Leaders of the world are asking for your support to combat terrorism
and we're encouraging to demonstrate against the terrorists this Friday
at 15:00 hours.
It is a well-known fact that the terrorists are against alcohol
consumption and think it is sinful to look at a naked woman. Therefore,
at 15:00 this Friday, all women should run naked through the office while
men chase them with a beer in their hands. This, we are told, is the best
way to show our disgust for the fanatics and will hopefully help us in
detecting the terrorists among us.
Remember, you are either with us ... or against us. Your efforts are much
appreciated in the name of a free, democratic world.
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old
came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember
Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, "but what
is growing in your butt?"
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