Today's quotes [1.30.14]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
When I married my wife, she had a real hourglass figure.
The sands of time have pretty much taken care of that though.
He is so polite, he wouldn't open an oyster without
knocking on the shell first.
"Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor
well-done." -- Ernie Kovacs
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. --
If anything can go wrong, it will.
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31