Today's quotes [1.26.14]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

"Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow,
and when I woke up the pillow was gone." -- Tommy Cooper 

"Which painting in the National Gallery would I save
if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course."

                                            -- George Bernard Shaw

Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill:
       "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up. 

    - Thomas Edison 

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
   But when take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
         Steve Bluestone

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Funny Pic   January '14 Quotes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31