Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's quotes [1.20.14]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.


It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. 

    -- Mark Twain

1. 




"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will
give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never
would've thought of that!'"

                                    - Dave Barry

2. 




He who says there is no such thing as an honest man, you may be sure is himself a knave. 

                                                        --Bishop Berkeley

3. 




Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
   world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that
   but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
   -- Mariah Carey


4. 




"Keeping UUCP running is starting to seem a lot like keeping a 130-year-old
 man who smokes 4 packs a day on life support because he's the last person
 on Earth who knows how to do the cha-cha, but he won't tell anyone."

-- Ryan Tucker, alt.sysadmin.recovery


5. 



BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 January '14 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
         1  2  3  4  
5  6  7  8  9  10 11 
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
19 20 21 22 23 24 25 
26 27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.