Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's quotes [1.16.14]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.


You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a
                            barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

                               - - - P.J. O’Rourke "Holidays in Hell"

1. 




* If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?


2. 




Four years ago...  No, it was yesterday. Today I...  No, that wasn't me.
Sometimes I...  No, I don't.


3. 




"I never married because there was no need.
   I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.
   I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all
   afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night."
   --- Marie Corelli


4. 




Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts. 

    - Ruth Gordon

5. 



BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 January '14 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
         1  2  3  4  
5  6  7  8  9  10 11 
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
19 20 21 22 23 24 25 
26 27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.