Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  

Today's quotes [1.13.14]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel
like getting married, they send over a lady in a
housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. 

                                   -- Dick Martin


"People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used
to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it." 

Noel Coward.


"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." 

Terry Pratchett.


When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter. 

- Stephen Wright


Men do not quit playing because they grow old;
they grow old because they quit playing.

- Oliver Wendell Holmes


BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 January '14 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
         1  2  3  4  
5  6  7  8  9  10 11 
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
19 20 21 22 23 24 25 
26 27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.