Today's jokes [1.4.14]
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Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that
as both husband and Father, I can say anything I want to around the
Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.
An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old
girls house. One
day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting
the girl. He holds up
the football and says, "See this football? Football is a boys game,
and only boys can have a
football!". The little girl runs into the house and cries to her
mother, "I want a football!"
Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets her one.
The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on
his bike. She holds up
the football, "Nah Nah Nah Nah". The little boy angryly points to his
bike and says, "Oh
yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and you
can't have one!" She
runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new boys
The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to
his most private of
parts says, "Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you
one!!!". The next
day he walks by and asks her, "Well, I guess I showed you!" to which
she promptly pulls
up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims "My mother tells me
that as long as I have
one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want!
Ralph and Charlie where playing the ninth hole at the local country club
when Ralph hit his tee shot way to the right. Ralph walked over to the
deep rough, found his ball, and proceeded to beat the hell out of wild
buttercups with his pitching wedge. Mother Nature appeared and said,
"Since you destroyed all of my favorite buttercups, if you ever taste
butter, smell butter, or even think about butter you will become deathly
ill and die."
Ralph walked out of the rough toward Charlie with a big smile on his face.
Ralph then told him his story with a big grin on his face. Charlie says,
"That's not a good thing! Why are you smiling?" Ralph replies, "I almost
hit the pussy willows."
At a government affair, the wives of four world
leaders are chatting about how people refer to a
penis in their countries.
The wife of Tony Blair says in England people
call it a gentleman, because it stands up when
women are entering.
The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call
it a patriot, because you never know if it will
hit you on the front or on the back side.
The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a
curtain, because it goes down after the act.
With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says
in the USA you call it a rumor, because it
goes from mouth to mouth...
Sent by Igor
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish
One less drunk.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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