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Today's jokes [1.27.14]

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A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations building in New 
York City. He approached four men waiting to cross the street: a Saudi, a 
Russian, a North Korean and a resident New Yorker. He asked, "Excuse me, I 
would like to ask you your opinion on the current meat shortage?" 
The Saudi replied, "Excuse me, but what is a shortage?" 
The Russian said, "Excuse me, but what is meat?" 
The North Korean replied, "Excuse me, but what is an opinion?" 
The New Yorker replied, "Excuse me, but what is 'excuse me?'"


A young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her 
that she was pregnant.  The young lady had been married for 
ten years and had wanted a baby very badly.  As she sat on 
the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share the 
good news with someone.  The gentleman sitting next to her 
seemed as good as anyone to share the good news with. 

Sir, she said, I just received the best news you could ever 
imagine.  I have to share it with someone or I'll bust.  She told 
him the news that the doctor had told her about being pregnant.

The man shared her enthusiam as he shared his expierence.  
He said he was a farmer and he had trouble with his hens 
laying eggs.  He stated that he went out to the hen house one 
morning and all of his hens had layed eggs. He was so happy. 
he added, "but confidentially, I changed cocks."

The newly pregnant woman responded, "Confidentially, me 


Creative Sighing for Effect. Sigh loudly when there are
many people around, giving the impression that you are
very hard pressed.


The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she 
has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the 
sanctity of the confessional.
She says, "Father, I never wears panties under my habit."
The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, 
five Our Fathers and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar.


What is the difference between boogers and spinach?

                    You can't get your kids to eat spinach.


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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