Today's jokes [1.21.14]
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A young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving
himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy,
seeing the young Lt.'s green uniform asks him if he was in the
Army. The Lt. smiles and say's, "Why yes I am...you wanna
wear my hat?" The boy nods and the hat is placed on his head.
As the boy admired himself in the mirror, the bathroom door
slammed open and an old Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt walked in.
He was decked out in his Dress Blue Uniform, with medals down
his chest. The boy, seeing the uniform asked him, "Hey, are
you a Marine?" The Gunnery Sgt peared down at the boy and
responded, "That's right! Why? Do wanna suck me off?" The
boy replied nervously, "I-I-I'm not in the Army!! I'm just
wearing his hat!!"
Sent by Brian
What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 30 centimeter
Nothing.... They all make your eyes water.
THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE; GERTRUDE,
SOPHIA, AND HARRIET. GERTRUDE SAID, "I THINK I'LL GO UPSTAIRS NOW AND TAKE
A BATH." SHE TOOK ALL HER CLOTHES OFF AS AS SHE WAS FILLING UP THE TUB, SHE
HAD ONE FOOT IN THE TUB AND THE OTHER STILL OUTSIDE THE TUB. SHE SAID "WAS
I GOING INTO THE TUB, OR COMING OUT OF THE TUB?" SOPHIA AND HARRIET WERE
DOWNSTAIRS CHATTING WITH EACH OTHER, WHEN SOPHIA SAID, "YOU KNOW,
GERTRUDE'S BEEN UP THERE FOR QUITE A WHILE, I'D BETTER GO CHECK ON HER."
AS SHE WAS GOING UP THE STAIRS SHE STOPPED AND TURNED AROUND AND SAID, "WAS
I GOING UP THE STAIRS, OR COMING DOWN THE STAIRS?" HARRIET WAS LEFT
SITTING AT THE TABLE BY HERSELF. AFTER SHE HEARD SOPHIA'S REMARK SHE SAID,
"THANK GOODNESS I'M NOT THAT BAD KNOCK ON WOOD." "WAS THAT THE FRONT DOOR
OR THE BACK DOOR?"
Q: What was the last thing to go through Cobain's mind?
A: The roof of his mouth.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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