Today's jokes [1.11.14]
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Mommy,mommy:can I play with grandma?
Shut up kid, you dug her up twice last weeek!
mommy,mommy:I hate daddyis guts.
shut up kid and keep eating.
sent by omar
An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down
below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the
mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the
mouse says: "Tail gunner to pilot...Tail gunner to pilot.."
The eagle says "what do you want?"
The mouse asks how high up they are.
The eagle thinks for a moment and then says "ohh about 5,000 ft."
The mouse then replies "You wouldn't be shittin me now would ya??"
Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set
off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite
the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy,
points to it and says, "Mummy, what is that long thing?"
His mother replies, "That, son, is the elephant's trunk."
"No, at the other end."
"That, son is the tail."
"No, mummy, the thing under the elephant."
A short embarrassed silence after which she replies, "That's nothing."
The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied
with her answer, asks his father the same question.
"Daddy, what is that long thing?"
"That's the trunk, son," replies the father.
"No at the other end."
"Oh, that is the tail."
"No, no daddy, the thing below," asks the son in desperation.
"That is the elephants penis. Why do you ask son?"
"Well mummy said it was nothing," says the boy.
Replies the father: "I tell you, I spoil that woman ..."
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it
So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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