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Today's stories [9.20.13]

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OK one time me and two of my friends went over to another friends

house expecting him to be home but nobody was. We had also 

remembered that his parents were out of town for the week,

so we decided to go inside and wait for him. So I slipped 

in through the oversize dog door. Once we were inside we got

a little bit bored so we decided to leave , but before we did 

I came across a great idea. You see his mom collects teddy bears 

and had hundreds of them placed all around the house. So we gathered 

allmost all of them and placed them in the living room and sat them 

on couches, chairs and the floor all facing the TV.Just then I 

found a videotape of Barny (EVERYONES FAVORITE PURPLE FRIEND)

So we put in the tape and left the remote control in the biggest

bears lap with the volume all the way up and then left.

Later that night we called him and told him that we were coming 

over, he sounded worried. When we arrived he answered the

door with a shotgun in his hand, he was scared shitless.

Turns out that he and his girlfriend called the cops and 

had to explain the whole story, The found nothing,laughed and left.

To this day he dosent understand what happened and sometimes 

we joke around with him about it. Since only 3 of us know about

it there is always new people that think he is crazy.  

Sent by ethan


As senior citizens, my wife and I support each others memory,

or lack of it.  One night while sitting at the kitchen table

we were chatting about garden chores.  It remended me of something

I had to get from the garage.  When I got to the door, my mind

went blank.  I returned to the table a asked my wife what it

was I was going to get.  She looked up at me with a curious

stare and asked, "Just who in the hell are you?"

Sent by E. R S


Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road
and hit a tree near Cotton Plant on State Highway 38 early Monday morning

Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are
listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center.

The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a
cat-gigging trip. (Note to city slickers, cat-gigging, or cat-sticking,
is how, armed with a small pitchfork), you catch cats from the bayou bank.

Cats make a tasty supper.

On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had
burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the
.22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to
the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again
began to operate and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White
river Bridge.

After traveling approximately 20 miles and just before crossing the river,
the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right
testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right, exiting the pavement and
striking the tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions, but will
require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken
clavicle and was treated and released.

Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off or we
might now be dead, 'said Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for I0 years in this part of the world," said Deputy
Snyder, "but this is a first for me. I cant believe that those two would
admit how the accident happened."

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavina, Poole's wife, asked how many cats
the boys had caught, and did anyone think to get them from the truck.


BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."

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