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Today's stories [9.18.13]

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The two butchers were brought into the emergency room.
They both had their left hands bandaged.  "What happened?"  I 
asked the first one.  "I was cutting some meat when the cleaver 
slipped and cut my hand."  I asked the other one how he had
been injured.  "Oh, I was showing the other guys what *this*
guy was doing and I did the same thing."

1. 




IQ wanted me to know there's more than one "Judi" out there.
Her husband's secretary (Edna) one time shredded her (Edna)
own paycheck.  Then she booked her boss on a flight and 
said, "I even got you a window seat because I know how 
you like to smoke."

2. 




My husband was telling me a joke while my 7 year old son 
listened.  In the joke is a line about a barber being told *not* to
put hair tonic on the customer because the customer's wife 
would think he'd been to a whorehouse.  Another customer 
tells a second barber to go ahead and splash it on -- his wife
doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.  
My son turns to me and says, "Do *you* know what it smells
like, Mommy?"

3. 



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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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