Today's poems [9.18.13]
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There was a young lady of Gloucester
Whose friends they thought they had lost her,
Till they found on the grass
The marks of her ass,
And the knees of the man who had crossed her.
A sweet young strip dancer named Jane
Wore five inches of thin cellophane.
When asked why she wore it
She said, "I abhor it,
But my juices would spatter like rain,"
There was a young man of Loch Leven
Who went for a walk about seven.
He fell into a pit
That was brimful of shit,
And now the poor bugger's in heaven.
There was an old harlot of Wick
Who was sucking a coal-heaver's prick.
She said, "I don't mind
The coal dust and grime,
But the smell of your balls makes me sick."
Modern Love Poem
A Trite Redundant Poem With a Laughable Excuse For a Structure
Addressed To Absolutely No One in Particular and Whose Only Redeeming
Value is That It's Short
a.k.a. A Modern Love Poem
My dearest darling with long dark hair and eyes azure,
My love for you is eternal, tried, and sure.
I stare into the infinite depths of your eyes,
But I often find my gaze directed at your thighs.
Everyone appreciates your unsurpassed beauty and grace,
Your perfect supple form and enchanting face.
Some say beauty is fleeting, and boy do I agree.
Your personality sucks, so when you're 40, with you I will not be.
My sweet, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
One...uh...one...hmm...number one...gimme a chance... how about the
way your body sways?
Let me once more restate my love for you.
65% of the time, to you I'm true.
There is no other woman with whom I lay,
At least, not at this particular time of day.
My dear, you're absolutely the best.
How 'bout accompanying me to the next Centralfest?
(That is, unless I don't have another date)
The events that brought us together must have been fate.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
You're the greatest, Jenny, I mean Cherry, I mean Sue.
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