Today's jokes [9.7.13]
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What's Britney Spears' next career goal?
To learn how to sing.
Q: How do you get rid of a nun's hiccups?
A: Tell her she's pregnant!
After years of psychotherapy, John no longer believes
he is a grain of wheat. However, one day he and a
friend came across a chicken, and John was terrified.
"Why are you so afraid, you're not a grain
of wheat after all," his friend asked.
John replied, "You know it and I know it,
but the chicken doesn't know it."
Sent by Marc
Ok, I'm going to get a lot of hate mail for this one...
What's the definition of the perfect woman?
She's three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth, and her head is flat
so you can put a can on it. The sports model has pull back ears and her
teeth fold in. The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turns
into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack.
Two drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his
buddy and says "I gotta go use the can." So he wonders off
to the bathroom and is gone for 5 ... 10... 20 minutes. Well
his friend gets pissed off and goes in to get him. He finds
him in there and asks "What the hell are you doing?" The
first drunk repies "Everytime I flush, something reaches up
and grabs my balls." The second drunk looks at him and says
"Well ya dumbass, you sittin on the mop bucket"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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