Today's jokes [9.5.13]
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There were three little boys visiting their grandparents.
The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, "Can you make a sound
like a frog, Grandpappy?
Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, "No, I don't really
want to make the sound of a frog now."
So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, "Will
you please make a sound like a frog?"
Grandpa again says, "No, not now. I don't really want to do that.
I'm in a grumpy mood. Maybe later."
Then the third little boy comes out and says, "Grandpa, oh please...
Please, please will you make a sound like a frog?"
"Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa
The little boy replied with a hopeful face, "Well, Mom said that when
you croak we get to go to Disney World!"
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and
engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them
ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is
galvanized when she hears one of the men saying the following;
"Emma come first. Denna I come. Two asses, they come together.
I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again
and pee twice. Denna I come once-a more."
"You fowl-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In
this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma justa tellun my
friend howa to spella Mississippi."
The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted
by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service
from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called
the electric company's complaint department to ask for help.
"The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our
community. You must make them stop cursing so much.", said
"Very well, sister. But you must make allowances for their
habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still
tend to call a spade a spade.", said the company
Mother superior then observed, "I think the term they actually
use is 'fucking shovel'".
Iraqi TV Guide
8:30 Mad About Everything
9:00 Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 Allah McBeal
8:00 Wheel of Fortune and Terror
8:30 The Price is Right if Saddam Says its Right
9:00 Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things
9:30 Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers
8:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
8:30 Diagnosis: Heresy
9:00 Just Shoot Me
8:00 Mahatma Loves Chachi
9:00 Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses
9:30 My Two Baghdads
8:00 Judge Saddam
8:30 Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things
9:00 Achmed's Creek
9:30 No-witness News
Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek?
Nobody will look for them.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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