Today's jokes [9.23.13]
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Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses "I
want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days." and Moses
says "Yeah sure." So Jesus gets up and says "I think I'll walk on the
water, that was always a good one." So Jesus walks over to the edge of the
boat, steps into the water, and sinks like a stone. Moses drags Jesus back
into the boat and revives him. Moses then says "What's the problem?" and
Jesus says, "I think its the holes in my feet!"
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just
come out of the shower.
The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks "What's that?"
Her sister replies "That is my possum, sis!"
The young girl replies "Oh, OK"
The next day she sees her mother get out of the shower and a pointing
at her pussy again
asks "What's that?"
Her mother replies "That's my possum!"
The young girl again replies "Oh, OK"
The next day she sees her grandmother getting out of the shower and
once again pointing at
her pussy asks "What's that?"
The grandmother replies "That's my possum!"
The young girl replies "Oh, grandmother, is your possum dead?"
The grandmother, looking a little dazzled replies "No, deary, why do
The young girl replies "Oh, its just that your possums tongue is
The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the
"Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the distraught young
mother. "My child has swallowed a contraceptive."
The physician dressed quickly, but before he could get out the door,
the phone rang again.
"You don't have to come over after all," the woman said with a sigh of
relief. "My husband just found another one."
A REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.
THE DR. ASKS,"IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?"
THE REDNECK SAYS,"NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER.
Sent by BOBBY
How to Hunt Elephants -- Math style
Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing
out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of
whatever is left. Professors of mathematics prove the
existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of
an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate
Sent by Alex
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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