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Today's jokes [9.23.13]

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Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses "I 
want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days." and Moses 
says "Yeah sure." So Jesus gets up and says "I think I'll walk on the 
water, that was always a good one." So Jesus walks over to the edge of the 
boat, steps into the water, and sinks like a stone. Moses drags Jesus back 
into the boat and revives him. Moses then says "What's the problem?" and 
Jesus says, "I think its the holes in my feet!"

1. 




   A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just
   come out of the shower.
   The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks "What's that?"
   Her sister replies "That is my possum, sis!"
   The young girl replies "Oh, OK"
   The next day she sees her mother get out of the shower and a pointing
   at her pussy again
   asks "What's that?"
   Her mother replies "That's my possum!"
   The young girl again replies "Oh, OK"
   The next day she sees her grandmother getting out of the shower and
   once again pointing at
   her pussy asks "What's that?"
   The grandmother replies "That's my possum!"
   The young girl replies "Oh, grandmother, is your possum dead?"
   The grandmother, looking a little dazzled replies "No, deary, why do
   you ask?"
   The young girl replies "Oh, its just that your possums tongue is
   sticking out!"
   


2. 




   The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the
   night.
   
   "Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the distraught young
   mother. "My child has swallowed a contraceptive."
   
   The physician dressed quickly, but before he could get out the door,
   the phone rang again.
   
   "You don't have to come over after all," the woman said with a sigh of
   relief. "My husband just found another one."
   


3. 




A REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.
THE DR. ASKS,"IS YOUR DAUGHTER  SEXUALLY ACTIVE?"
THE REDNECK SAYS,"NAW,  SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER.

Sent by BOBBY

4. 




How to Hunt Elephants -- Math style
 
Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing
out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of
whatever is left.  Professors of mathematics prove the
existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of
an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate
students.

Sent by Alex 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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