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Today's jokes [9.2.13]

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What do you call a dog with no legs? doen't matter, it's not going to come anyway!

Sent by Melissa


Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, 
"How was I born?" "The stork brought you to us." "Oh," said Little Johnny. 
"Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked. "Oh, the stork brought 
us too." "So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?" "Well, darling, the 
stork brought them too," said the mother. The next day Little Johnny 
handed in his paper to the teacher. It read, "This report is impossible to 
write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my 
family for three generations."


After their love-making session the young bride asks her husband "Was
making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?"
"Yes, she's dead to!""Was making love to me really the same as making
love to Marilyn Monroe?"

"Yes, she's dead to!"


The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the 
bar. "Elliot," she said, pointing "do you see that man downing bourbon at 
the bar?"
The husband looked over and nodded. "Well," the woman continued, "he's 
been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!"
The husband returned to his meal. "Nonsense," he said, "even that's not 
worth so much celebrating!"


Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.
He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and
a banner that said 'N I L'. 
White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns
to The Great Nullity ,The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero in
the Sky. 
Morris turned to a white-robed observer beside him and wispered,
.... ...... "Is Nothing Sacred?"


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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