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Today's stories [8.29.13]

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As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
   her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was
   able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
   minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
   car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
   car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied
   "Yes Officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
   When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a
   Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
   at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near
   spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
   trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motorhome's
   sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
   charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
   The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
   Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded
   cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
   cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
   the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
   frustrated, walked away.



Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by
   running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck.
   Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they
   pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and
   drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their
   bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate
   still attached to the bumper. A woman was reporting her car as stolen,
   and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking
   the report called the phone, and told the guy that answered that he
   had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They
   arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.



    Burn Baby Burn - A Cigar Story

   A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very
   expensive cigars, insured them against ... get this
   Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars,
   and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man
   filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man
   stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires."
   The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that
   the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man
   sued...and won!
   In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a
   policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were
   insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against
   fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire,"
   it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss.
   Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
   company accepted the judge's ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the
   rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed his check,
   however, the insurance company had him arrested ... on 24 counts of
   With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case
   being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of
   intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive
   one year terms!



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."

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