Today's stories [8.20.13]

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A whole bunch of us were sitting around my house talking and we 
were trying to remember a guy's name. None of us could remember 
his name at all when all of a sudden my friend yells, "Dick!". 
We said yes that's it. Then she said "Boy, I pulled that one 
out of my ass". No one said anything until I burst out laughing 
and she said "You had to go there didn't you?"

I had some surgery on my shoulder about 5 or 6 years ago, and 
then underwent several weeks of physical therapy. On my final 
visit, the therapist gave me some exercises to do at home, 
informing me I'd need a partner to help me with them. That 
night my husband and I celebrated my recovery with an 
especially boisterous romp in the boudoir.  The next morning I 
told him I had some exercises for my shoulder that I needed his 
help with. With a sly grin he asked, "Did we do any of them
last night?"

State Trooper on the NYS Thruway (I90) gave me a ticket 
the other day.  Speeding?  No.
     I was driving in the Granny lane (slow) and the Trooper 
pulled up beside me.  I hit a pheasent that stepped into the 
road from the shoulder.  Flew across the lane, hit the 
Trooper's windshield and broke it.
     The Trooper gave me the ticket for flipping him the bird.

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