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Today's poems [8.4.13]

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First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden. 
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing".
After casting about for a suitable pearl, 
He kept messing around and created a girl. 
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender, 
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender. 
Two lovely hips to increase his desire, 
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire. 
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud, 
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud. 
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you, 
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you. 
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder, 
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder. 
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing. 
Then he added a mouth... 
  
Ruined the whole fucking thing.

1. 




Bob, the zookeeper from Bath,
was known to have trained a giraffe,
to sit on its knees
and stay still with ease
while poked with his very long staff


Sent by Dan

2. 




I fear that I shall never see
A bathroom wall completely free

Of such obscenities as this
And other words like "shit" and "piss."

But if I such a wall espy,
Then you will know that it was I

Who was in the vicinity:
I'll ravish its virginity.


Sent by --Kilmerius Redivivus

3. 




Mary had a little watch,
She swallowed it one day.

She took a dose of Castor oil,
to pass the time away.

The oil, it did not work.
The time it did not pass.

So if you want to know what time it is,
You'll have to look up Mary's ass.

Sent by jerry

4. 




Phil, a young plumber from Rhyl
was first to try out the male pill,
but to Lisa's suprise,
his spunk didn't rise,
and neither received any thrill.

Sent by Dan

5. 



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