Today's jokes [8.5.13]
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How to Hunt Elephants -- QA Style
Quality assurance inspectors ignore the elephants and look
for mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing
Sister Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell.
She immediately called Saint Peter and said,
"This is Sister Margaret. There's been a terrible mistake!"
She explained the situation, and Saint Peter said he'd get right on
it. The next day the nun didn't hear from Saint Peter so she called him
again. "Please set this error straight before tomorrow," she begged.
"There's an orgy planned for tonight, and everyone *must* attend!"
"Of course, Sister," he said. "I'll get you out of there right away."
Apparently, her plight slipped his mind, and the following morning
Saint Peter received another phone call from hell. He picked up
the receiver with tribulations of his heart and started to listen.
He heard the following, "Hey, Pete, this is Maggie. Never mind!"
If the NSA made toasters...
Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only the
NSA could access in case they needed to get at your toast
for reasons of national security.
A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street
corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he'll spend about 3 bucks on the
ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest
and get stomach aches. His eventual response:
"Go stand on the corner for two hours and come back, I'll give
you two dollars. Everybody wins."
A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife
" Hi, is Tony home?"
" No, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
" No, come in."
They sit down and the friend says, "You know Nora, you have the
greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I
could just see one."
Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a
hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks
her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says, "They are so beautiful
I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks
if I could just see the both of them together."
Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and
gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred
bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.
A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says, "You know, your
weird friend Chris came over. "
Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the
200 bucks he owes me?"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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